July 11, 2023

It's Been Six Months... Conexión 7/2023

This post is going to the presses in Conexión on exactly the 6th month of Sweetie's adios. But though he isn't physically on this plane, Babushka knows he's with her. More about that later, for now...

HolaHolaHola Beautifuls! Have you missed Babushka? Babushka’s missed you all. 

She’s also missing Sweetie.

In case you don’t know, Dear Sweetie passed away in January of this year. After a week in ICU and 4 hearttacks there, on January 11, BB’s querido husband of almost 10 years left this world, and oh Beautifuls, it has not been easy. You know BB doesn’t like to be a downer, but she does tell things as they are. So here’s a little post to prepare you for the inevitable. 

The grief, that’s definitivamente part of the inevitable, pero that one we know is coming. Everyone is different, so the how and how long is an individual thing, the form and how you deal with it, also individual. Sorry, Babushka has no “must do” for eso, except to say it will come. No Beautifuls, the preparation BB needs to share, stress you do, is the physical, mundane things that are tedious but makes the adios less painful after parting.

Speak of death with your loved ones. Let them know your wishes, how you want to say goodbye. How you want to be remembered. Final resting place, where and how. And then the legalities, Oh Beautifuls, so many legalities!!! Here’s a lista that BB knows to be helpful and true:

  1. Pay for your funeral, cremation, whatever service/ceremony/celebration you want for your final resting place and goodbye. Even write your obituary. They may not use it, pero at least they’ll know what was important to you to share. 

  2. Make a will. If you can’t afford an attorney, there are forms you can fill out and have notarized. Keep it safe, keep it current.

  3. Assign a beneficiary to all legal accounts. ALL bank accounts, no matter how small need a beneficiary. If you do not have a co-signer, co-owner on the account,make sure you assign beneficiaries to your accounts.

  4. If you own property, make sure the name of your spouse is on the deed.

Unfortunately BB knows first hand of these hardships. Sweetie didn’t do any of these except the cremation, so a go fund me had to be made to help pay probate and expenses previously paid by the two of us.  In Florida it’s not automatic, “Casa BB” isn’t; the house we both lived in for the 10 years of marriage did not automatically go to Babushka. The bank accounts with no beneficiary assigned will probably go to creditors. 

Coming to grip with your passing is enough to come to terms with, you don’t need these extra burdens for your loved ones. They have enough with the shock, emptiness, grief of you gone.

For those who'd like to see the gofundme link: https://bit.ly/WidowhoodWoesBB and 1000x gracias for the apoyo and ayuda.

Dancing a little slower, pero still bailando. Babushka Besos a Todos. Cuidensen.

Bohemian Babushka
Bohemian Babushka

Groovy Spanglish speaking Grandma of 6 who loves life and all its adventures. Motivational while still keeping it real, Babushka shows how all things looked at with gratitude are good, and how to say to la vida- JU SO FONII!!!

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