Happy Cumples, BB! — 64 and Wanting More

 

Babushka had taken a little breakesito during the hot summer months. Meaning September wasn't hot here Up North in The South?  JU SO FONII!! Of course it was, pero it was also BB's Bday mes, so palabras and parties were in order. Aqui, the article written for Conexion Florida, a previous hardcopy, now online publication.  Moviendo con los times...

Hola,Hola,Hola Beautifuls!

Another birthday is here.. What was the win this year?

The answer came surprisingly fast.

Babushka made it to another year.

That's the win.

Sí, Beautifuls, some years are like that.

Sweetie has been gone three years. Then Pedro passed — Sweetie's cat, the last living piece of her husband BB still had. One Adios inside another.

Casa BB hasn't cooperated: a leaking techo, mold, electrical problems, and a crumbling trailer — all maintained on about $900 a month from a widow's pension.

Then Roxy needed a transmission. The warranty? Did Nada. The actress had one gig. Type 2 diabetes joined the cast, too. Gracias a Dios, it's controlled.

So where's the fabulous?

Finding the Fabulous in the Familiar does NOT mean pretending everything is fabuloso.  Loss hurts. Money worries are real. Roofs leak. Carros break.

It means viendo valor in the diario: café, music, laughter, a timely call, y familia.

BB's two girls live with her now. Sometimes Mama is the caretaker; sometimes she is cared for. Accepting care es parte de  family, too.

None of that repara the roof, brings Pedro back, or fixes Roxy. 

Pero it helps make some dias lighter. Perhaps that's enough.

At 63, BB loved, lost, worried, laughed, cared, was cared for, found the Fabulous inside the Familiar — and kept dancing.

Another year. Estás aquí.

Beautifuls... Still Here. 

ESO!!!

Happy Cumples BB.. 

And mucho, many, más.

CUIDENSE

BB2U

Must We Love?

From the February edition of Conexion, BB's column.

Hola, Hola, Hola Beautifuls!

Febrero, February. El mes del Amor, the month of love. 

Oh Beautifuls, this is year dos without Sweetie, but not without love. 

 Quee?? BB ya con novio? JU SO FONII!! 

No Beautifuls, without romance, pero nunca without amor. 

Not to say the physical isn’t necessary or painful when lacking. Babushka always has Sweetie’s side of the bed con cosas. Partly because she’s messy, but mainly because it fills up that empty espacio. The void is felt, but it can be filled, to only come in surprising spurts and sometimes wicked waves. Pero love has so many levels, so many ways to manifest, to enjoy and partake of.  

Sin duda, without a doubt is the love of familia. BB doesn’t know where she’d be without The Trio and The Grands. It’s nice to be needed and loved. Family, this is a given. Hope you are Blessed to feel the same.

La Vida, Life is to be Loved. Good, Bad, and todo in between. It’s why we’re here, the reason to Be. To Learn and to Love. This is our tarea. Si, we must love. Now, What you love, How you love, is your choice, your challenge. Hopefully you love life and cherish every moment, every chance of Being. Because you are worthy of the chances, the choices, the Love of Life, and the Love of YOU.

Mucho, MUCHO Amor & Besos to All.

Cuidensen.

It's Been Six Months... Conexión 7/2023

This post is going to the presses in Conexión on exactly the 6th month of Sweetie's adios. But though he isn't physically on this plane, Babushka knows he's with her. More about that later, for now...

HolaHolaHola Beautifuls! Have you missed Babushka? Babushka’s missed you all. 

She’s also missing Sweetie.

In case you don’t know, Dear Sweetie passed away in January of this year. After a week in ICU and 4 hearttacks there, on January 11, BB’s querido husband of almost 10 years left this world, and oh Beautifuls, it has not been easy. You know BB doesn’t like to be a downer, but she does tell things as they are. So here’s a little post to prepare you for the inevitable. 

The grief, that’s definitivamente part of the inevitable, pero that one we know is coming. Everyone is different, so the how and how long is an individual thing, the form and how you deal with it, also individual. Sorry, Babushka has no “must do” for eso, except to say it will come. No Beautifuls, the preparation BB needs to share, stress you do, is the physical, mundane things that are tedious but makes the adios less painful after parting.

Speak of death with your loved ones. Let them know your wishes, how you want to say goodbye. How you want to be remembered. Final resting place, where and how. And then the legalities, Oh Beautifuls, so many legalities!!! Here’s a lista that BB knows to be helpful and true:

1. Pay for your funeral, cremation, whatever service/ceremony/celebration you want for your final resting place and goodbye. Even write your obituary. They may not use it, pero at least they’ll know what was important to you to share. 

2. Make a will. If you can’t afford an attorney, there are forms you can fill out and have notarized. Keep it safe, keep it current.

3. Assign a beneficiary to all legal accounts. ALL bank accounts, no matter how small need a beneficiary. If you do not have a co-signer, co-owner on the account,make sure you assign beneficiaries to your accounts.

4. If you own property, make sure the name of your spouse is on the deed.

Unfortunately BB knows first hand of these hardships. Sweetie didn’t do any of these except the cremation, so a go fund me had to be made to help pay probate and expenses previously paid by the two of us.  In Florida it’s not automatic, “Casa BB” isn’t; the house we both lived in for the 10 years of marriage did not automatically go to Babushka. The bank accounts with no beneficiary assigned will probably go to creditors. 

Coming to grip with your passing is enough to come to terms with, you don’t need these extra burdens for your loved ones. They have enough with the shock, emptiness, grief of you gone.

For those who'd like to see the gofundme link: https://bit.ly/WidowhoodWoesBB and 1000x gracias for the apoyo and ayuda.

Dancing a little slower, pero still bailando. Babushka Besos a Todos. Cuidensen.