#TBT Which Came First? May 2021 @ConexionFlorida

 In this month's Conexion, BB shares her thoughts and gratitude on mothers, grandmothers, and all those who came before us and helped shape our way...

Del libro, The First time 

Grandmother’s Journal, illustrations by Mel Baxter

HolaHolaHola Beautifuls!

It’s May, the month most think of Mothers, because in the US, Mother’s Day is celebrated the second Sunday of the month. Now BB asks, rephrasing the famous “Which came first, the chicken or the egg?” question, Which came first, the Grandmother or the Mother?  QueQue??  Ok, Ok, not going to get too philosophical here, pero think about it un poquito.  Those of us who were blessed to be Mothers, where did we get our “How-to” or “How to Not”s from? Ahuh. And them? It goes straight on back, generations upon generaciones . And in retrospect, all of them/us had moments we’d wished we had known about or done better. To help us with this is a wonderful libro, The First Time Grandmother’s Journal. The book was written by BB’s amiga Lisa Carpenter, grandmother to 7 boys, writer of many things, including the wonderful blog “Grandma’s Briefs”. 

Ahora, even though she says it’s a book “Inspiring Prompts to Celebrate Your Experience with a New Grandchild”, BB says it’s much more than that. Aqui are some of her prompts:  

“Living in Love

Looking Within

Being Present

Exploring Your Wisdom

Sound like things we should do for ourselves verdad? 

Consciously practice doing one thing at a time.

Let go of internal distractions like to-do lists

and unrealistic expectations of yourself and others.

Make peace with external factors you can’t control.”

Again, things we should do for ourselves? That Beautifuls, is Babushka’s wish for All. To honor and love our mothers, grandmothers, antepasados, in their wisdom and mistakes. And to honor and love ourselves in our wisdom and mistakes. Because no matter how often we question or doubt the reasons for being, the final que y porque is to love. Love la vida y each other, for we all are familia, to respect,  relate, and rejoice. Let us celebrar each new birth,new madre, new abuela, and the knowing that Love is what came first. 

Babushka Besos a Todos. Cuidensen.

May is for Mother's Day & Ms.Olivia - A BB BounceBack

HolaHolaHola Beautifuls!

This post was originalmente shared in 2012. Seems increible to BB that it's been 5 years already since I met Ms. Olivia, and also incredible that seeing her foto and recalling her aura still makes me smile and gives me paz.  Totally perfeccion that this be shared in the month we celebrate Mother's Day.  She just exuded motherly love, patience, the vibe of knowing and enjoying each moment.  Her "Life is so cool, and I'm cool with it."  attitude just radiated and encompassed. Babushka forget Ms. Olivia?  JU SO FONII!!!

4/2012   BB's an Original, but Ms Olivia is the Real Thing.
Saw her at the bus terminal and knew right away BB was seeing her future self.  Older but oh so stylish, she meshed the retro past with the boldness of today and gave it a flair of her own.  She was marvelous.

Traveling with her two daughters and her granddaughter, you could see she had loved and lived and continued to do both with grace and a natural air.  Babushka was all excited with plans and strategy for the Hispanicize 2012 conference and was in her own little world- and then she saw Ms. Olivia who reminded me what BB's real world should be.

Here was a woman who had found her way a long time ago, was comfortable in her skin, whose very essence exuded "this is my style, this is my life, this is me- and I like me".  Her beauty - inner and outer brought tears BB's eyes.  Have you ever sensed the presence of true beauty?  The knowledge of self worth and the radiance of self acceptance- THIS is true beauty  and Ms Olivia embodied it.

Babushka had to take a picture of her, to remind oneself of what is possible, to remember what BB aspires to be,  and so shyly approached Babushka's new idol to ask her permission.  Ok si, I hear you- "BB, You- Shy?!?  JU SO FONII!!!"  And you'd be right 99% of the time to doubt, but this was the 1% of our human race who had actually attained self love and Babushka was in awe and humbled. 

She graciously heard Babushka's petition, smiled, and told me she'd discuss it with her daughter.  Her daughter of course wanted to be assured of one's sincerity and asked why BB wanted to photograph her mother.  It was explained how Babushka wanted to capture her mother's style and love of self.   Apparently she believed BB because she came looking for me when we had a stop over, and BB didn't give her a chance to change her mind.

Ms. Olivia was in pure joy when she posed for the camera as was Babushka that she had allowed me the honor. BB believes her daughter had known her mother was exceptional as she thanked me profoundly for noticing.  But how can one not notice?  It would be like not noticing the Lady Moon as she shines and shimmers, not noticing her beauty naturally escaping and filling our nights. No, BB's the one who is thankful to Ms. Olivia for her example and hope this does her justice as she inspires us all to embrace our lives and ourselves. 

Babushka Besos a todos.  Cuidensen.

Absence Makes el Corazon Grow Fonder

Absence makes the heart grow fonder. After almost 2 1/2 months away, apparently that cliché became a clincher.  Babushka's going to be a bride.  Ok, si, I was engaged before going to Miami, but the date was ambivalent and, "Well, it'll be in April. Not sure what year, but definitely in April."  Bueno, now we know the year - 2013.  Oh my.

This will be BB's third marriage, his first. I can hear y'all echoeing- Oh my.  Guess you can say "they got themselves a real live one" - and we have.  We both think we're very lucky to have found each other and actually are a bit surprised it took so long to meet.  Imaginate- he's 6'4" and I'm... Babushka, so we don't exactly blend into the crowd, especially in this little rural town.  It took us 5 years to meet, 2 years together and 2.5 months apart to set a date, but it's set. 

So, how do weddings for "mature mates" differ from the younger couples? 

 JU SO FONII!!!  Maybe because I've already had my church wedding with all the whistles, but at this point we just want FUN.  A true celebration for all involved- including and especially the bride and groom.  This being his first wedding we wanted to make sure his mother would be able to attend, so we chose to have the ceremony near her home in central Florida.  Years ago I fell in love with the beautiful and tranquil  Bok Towers and thought what a beautiful place for a wedding this would be; amazing how the heart knows long before we do. 

The Singing Towers- Bok Towers

The spiritual sense of belonging, the soul of our celebration,would be represented perfectly in this setting.  But we all know, or should know, marriage isn't all tranquility and silence- especially with a Cubana, so we needed to find a place representing the other side. A place that was loud, in color and noise, mentally stimulating, tiring, and entertaining all rolled into one- a place like

LEGOLAND

Now how apropo, perfect and FUN is that? 

Can't you just see Babushka and Sweetie at the reception?

Actually, that's one of the reasons this wedding will be more fun. You dear readers will help me plan the little details that drive brides into bridezillas.  How do you see my wedding/reception dress?  Remember I'm over the top, but a no fuss kinda gal, so the wedding dress will go straight on the rollercoasters of Legoland. The bouquet? His wedding garb? Our wedding colors are turquoise- you decide w/what, and he likes folk music while I like something danceable. The grandbabies (all 4 of them) will be there so it'll definitely be lively and with your input lovely. 

Looking forward to the day and your visions of it.


Babushka Besos a todos.  Cuidensen.


P.S.  The number of wedding guests won't be over 25, 30 at most- so let's not go too crazy.

  Para eso estoy yo.

; )

FANATIC

I remember my maternal Grandmother, Mima, using a fan. She looked so exotic and elegant. She was 1/2 Chinese and always straight and ladylike and reminded me of the old time Chinese courts of royalty. But those eyes peering over the fan were filled with Cuban passion, ready to bop you with the fan if you were impertinent. OH, the multi purpose hand fan!

There is a certain aire about women with fans, a mystery to be unraveled. From a time when females were not allowed to publicly share their voices, they created the language of the fan. Between the position of the fan, the speed of fanning and their eyes, women of yore were understood perfectly. And let's not forget the final "he dicho" when that fan is closed curtly. I myself have mastered that one and have passed it on to the following generations- it's so much classier than cursing.

Now, I've always liked the hand held fan, but I must admit my appreciation didn't set in until the last couple of years. Because I got old? JU SO FONII !!! Not really, well, kinda sorta, ok, Si- air conditioning doesn't do much against the inner flames of aging if you know what I mean. Society still doesn't embrace sweat all over a woman's face, so the elegance of a fan evens out the playing field.

Should you think fans are only for cooling, let me bring you into the circle. They are great fashion accessories, mood barometers, and social statements. My trio knows that when the lace fan is out, Babushka's feeling like a lady, but when the plain paper one is pulled out- a correr!! That's my no nonsense,you -best- behave- bopping- on- the- head fan.  ::BOPASO::

My middle of the road- jeans fan

And lastly, but not least, my new favorite-

"Proud to be Cuban, ask me about my heritage" fan

I included the tag on this "only in Miami" fan find. Unfortunately I could find no boxes for my precious loves so BB will start making them herself! ::closing fan curtly::

Hope you've enjoyed this FANtastic tale and join me in the Fellaship of the Fan.

Babushka Besos a todos. Cuidensen.

How to keep healthy in a Cuban household

Old time remedies, old wives tales. I'm sure every culture has them; I bet we even find similarities among them. But this belonging to Babushka, I'm going to list some of the major beliefs my Cuban culture imparts on health and how to maintain it.

1) NEVER GO BAREFOOT-

Apparently the feet are portholes of infirmary. Between the cold, animals,germs, and bugs, it was a given hospital stay if you were ever found barefoot. (Oh, and Lord forbid if anyone ever saw you like that- they'd think you were from "El Campo".) My poor parents tried for 17 years and finally had to give up. I LOVE going barefoot. Guess I was destined for the South.

2) DON'T GO TO BED WITH YOUR HEAD WET-

There we go, being extreme. First the feet, then the head. Besides being a recipe for bed head in the morning (which no self respecting Cubanita would allow) the air would bring about tremendo cold. If you think I mean a/c- no, no,no we don't need to be so drastic to have a cold. The culprit of many a Cuban malady- NIGHT AIR.

Yes, NIGHT AIR, the demon of diseases and destruction. Not only did this devil cause more sickness than the plague, but it also broke down and disintegrated anything left out in its' domain. People or patio furniture, neither are immune to its' powers.

This being a well known truth, we continue to-

3) COVER UP

Anytime there was a breeze, or heaven forbid you were going out at night, the head (especially in little children), the chest and back (covering the lungs) must be covered. The later in the evening the more and/or tighter you should bundle up.

If by some milagro you did catch something then they went straight to the cupboard for the Cuban Cure All.

Vicks Vapor Rub, or as we were brought up to say, VIX VAPO RU. The magical ointment was slathered on the bottom of the feet, the chest, the back (covering the lungs), the neck, the forehead, and VERY important- under the nose. The fumes alone brought people back from the dead.

Aha, I see you smiling. You know of what I speak.

Por supuesto this aromatic bath was done while a cazuelon of hearty homemade chicken soup with bolitas de FuFu was being made-to cast out the fever, the bad spirits and the hunger.

Old time remedies, a bit of history. I'm sure we all have our memories of "cures" and "wisdom" and we shake our heads. Let's just smile and remember the love they were given with. And to those who wonder if I've followed these and shared them ... JU SO FONI !!!

I'm a Cuban Grandma; need I say more?

Babushka Besos a todos. Cuidensen.

Another Year, Another Candle- Almost 50

Last Thursday I turned 49.  Almost 50.  ÑO.

As I start this 49th year cycle towards 50 let me reflect.  I've completed 7 full cycles (cycles of 7 years each- a mystical, metaphysical grouping, which I'm  into, but more on eso another time) and just what have I done so far?  Bueno, let's break it down shall we?

0 - 7  Pre birth to 7    
I hear mi mamá had a good pregnancy, nothing extraordinary except for it being her first child, and of course it being me.  ; )   At school I  was very shy and quiet.  Yo se, no need to say it- I know what you're thinking; I definitely grew out of that one. JU SO FONII !!! Don't blame you though-  if I wouldn't have seen those teacher's comments I wouldn't have believed it either.

7 - 14  Child, Tween and Teen
Woah- what a span.  Is it just me or does it seem like my generation didn't have much variance between the groups?  I for one was still playing w/baby dolls at 12.  And still had my baby fat at 14.

14 - 21  True Teen and not too true Adult
Now 14 marked a real shift.  It was during this year that I decided I was no longer a baby, thus I no longer was going to need my baby fat.  No way was I going to be a  Quinceañera gorda.  So good bye baby fat and hello bulimarexia.  The rest of the cycle is the start of dating, social blooming and suffering.  Oh the poems I wrote during those years!  And let's not forget the nights of chocolates and  Diet Pepsi with girlfriends as we pondered the mysteries of life- and boys.  Then the college years.  Being a good CAP  (Cuban American Princess for the uninitiated) I went to a community college while living at home.  Truth be told I kinda liked this arrangement and kept withdrawing from classes because breakfast at Denny's with my BFF was infinitely more satisfactory than Algebra....

As in life, the following cycles will be quick.


21- 28  Adulthood and Motherhood- not necessarily in that order
Got a car, got a job, and since I really didn't know what I wanted to do with my life, got a husband.  Ok, ok, I feel your sejas raising and eyeballs popping, but I had already tried to go into the armed forces for "direction"  pero the jobs they offered weren't appealing so I took the traditional route.  Sooo Private Benjamin right?  Bueno, by the end of this cycle I had another car, another job and on the way to another husband, but my beautiful babies made everything worth it.

28 - 35  On A Roll-  up and down hill
Went back to college and actually graduated.  Go me!!   Life lessons were also in store as I remarried and had My Little One.  The marriage ended, and at the end of this very emotional and challenging cycle I was sustained by my children and strengthened by their love.

35 - 42  All a Blur - trio of teenagers
Who remembers?  It must be true, self preservation through memory blockages.  I vaguely recall this being the period my children hit puberty.  And we all know my view on that subject.  ::shudder::

42 - 49  Change of Scenery-  coming out of the trance
A trio of teens, a mini breakdown, and a feeling of perpetual claustrophobia, I had to move from CAP mecca Miami.   By this time my two eldest had their own families and it was just me and My Little One.  Both of us growing up in a little rural town south of the state's capital.  Que?  You thought I'd go farther than that?  Por fa-  once a CAP.... besides, with nietos no way I 'd stay too far away.

"In these years we move from old stereotypical roles with a new found confidence in our individuality. We are prepared to please our self, rather than society and gain a real understanding of our uniqueness, accompanied by a sense of urgency to express our true self before it gets too late."

 http://dreamhawk.com/body-and-mind/every-seven-years-you-change/

49 - 56  I've Gotta Be Me-  what else can I be?
The above quote describes perfectly my past year.  I left a "steady" state job ( oxy moron perhaps?) to pursue my inner calling.  I am a performer, a storyteller, a believer in beauty in all its' forms.  And I'm ready to blab it too!  Be it in person, in blog, or over the airwaves, I will follow my music, singing and sharing.  Y siempre, te lo voy a decir BAILANDO.


So all in all?   I done good!  And looking forward to the next round.





Babushka Besos a todos.  Cuidensen.




P.S.  Plans for this cycle start off with a radio show for BB, so if you are so inclined please donate towards this, humbly speaking, very worthy cause.  Corporate contributions and sponsorships are also very welcomed.

Don't you just see it now?  ""BB Bailando con Bustelo"    Oh SI!!!


P.P.S.  If you are truly inclined and "no quieres perder la costumbre", donations for BB are also greatly appreciated.  Mil Gracias.

Extremes are Excellent!

Come on, be truthful, if not with me at least with yourself.
"Sometimes you feel like a nut-sometimes you don't."
The In and Out.  The Sane and Insane.  El Caliente y el Frio.
We all have it, do it, live it.

Ejemplo.  Ever had a super size fast food meal- with a diet drink?  Or how about those "lite" chocolate bars?  And don't think this only applies to food, (though being Cuban I had to mention food first) it's pretty much across the board.  Mini vans with mad rims, remixes of old songs, (how surreal is that?) telling children to lower their voices and then screaming at them when they didn't...


Gotcha on that last one didn't I?


Don't be ashamed or embarrassed.  Extremes are excellent!  They get the blood a pumpin' and keep people from taking you for granted.  A word to the wise though- use caution here.  "Extreming" must be done tastefully and in moderation.  Try to limit yourself to 3 extreming episodes a day.  4 if you're Cuban.  Ok, ok- El  absolute max is 5 "si se te sube lo Cubano".  Better a mosquita muerta que una loca!  Although crazy has its advantages too.  But that I'll leave for another time...

Being a "grown up" can be boring- and being an even keeled, always controlled, in check individual makes you...actually, I've never met anyone like that.  So, I guess that makes you dead- or at least not Cuban.  Same difference.  JK.  Though if you think about it, the straight line is a symbol for smooth, and also a symbol of flatlining- death.  Coincidence?  Just a thought.  I know- JU SO FONII !!!

For me, "que le pongan salsa"- give me my extremes, my high heels, and my attitudes, 'cause nobody is gonna sleep when Babushka's around!




Babushka Besos a Todos- Cuidensen  









P.S.  If you've enjoyed this post please go to Facebook and "like" my page.  Mil Gracias.


                                                                                                                                                           

Introductions

Hola- or as we say around here, "Howdy".  Yep, Babushka's in "The South", which is funny if you think about it, because I spent most of my life in South Florida (Miami) which is further South than here, yet it's NEVER considered part of "The South".  North Havana maybe, but never "The South".  But I go off topic... get used to it- it's one of my many talents.

Babushka, full name Bohemian Babushka, BB if I like you, or THE Bohemian Babushka if I don't, has had in my 49 years, 2 marriages, 2 divorces, ____ lovers (being presently in "The South" I fall back on the Southern Belle's code of propriety and leave that blank, instead of a Miami "¿ Y Santa quien? )  many jobs, many businesses, many heartaches, but many heart sings as well.  Of course my Number One heart sings are my children.  Si, they also gave me heartache, but we all made it through puberty so, why dwell on that?  Borron y cuenta nueva.  My trio are my rocks- ok, at times rocks in/at the head, but again- why dwell on that?  My rocks, my reason for being (being crazy- sorry, beginning to dwell on that), my joys my true loves.  Until the grandchildren came into the picture.  Not that my trio aren't my true loves anymore, it's just that grandbabies are so tiny, so precious, and still so far away from puberty.  Ok, I'm dwelling- ever heard of shellshock?

Grandbabies- I've got 4 so far.  I say "so far"  because my eldest ( a 26 yr old beauty) has 2- a boy and a girl.; my son (a 25 yr old ex-Marine who has done his mom proud in so many ways)  has 2 boys and my little one (19 yr old intense yet sweet girl/woman who is striking, intelligent, gifted and better not be thinking of making babies yet) are still young enough to add to the family.  But not right now- por fa.  Let BB enjoy people saying "but you look so young to be a grandmother!" a little longer.  While I can still semi believe them.


Babushka has enjoyed this immensely and hopes you will dance with me again.  This has been but a little tease of who I am.  Tease- reminds me of my high school days, but again I'm going off topic. (such talent!) My blog will be on family,being female, being bilingual, being human -while always being brilliant.

And to those who don't understand YOUR brilliance, just look at them, smile, and say-
JU SO FONII !!!

Babushka Besos a todos-  Cuidensen

P.S.  If you've enjoyed this post please go to Facebook and "like" my page.  Mil Gracias.